Today is the first day of my first vacation this year. It will be a short vacation, three and a half days long. I am supposed to be going out of town for two of those days. Something I’ve been looking forward too for quite some time. Yet, there is a large part of me that just wants to stay home and sleep. To not go anywhere. Just rest and try and let my life catch up with me.
I know that if I don’t go, I will regret not going, yet I know if I do go, I will most likely end up missing my home, my porch and my family. Yes, I’m going on this journey alone. Just me and my bike and eventually a hotel room to rest my weary bones. Hopefully the place has a pool or a hot tub I can soak in.
I’m still trying to figure out why I’m going. Sure I have planned this for almost a year now, and I know it is something that I’ve wanted to do, but now the day has come and I’m getting cold feet. Is it because I’m worried about traffic? No. Worried something may go wrong? Not really.
You see, this trip is to a convention. A convention where I know some people and don’t know others. A place where one ends up talking to all sorts of folks and form friendships through similar interests. So why wouldn’t I go? I mean, here are people that like the same thing I like and yet I’m still hesitant about going, what seems to be the problem?
I guess it comes down to my social awkwardness. I don’t seem to do too well in situations where you have to meet lots of people. True, I’m pretty comfortable in a one on one situation but when you introduce folks that I have no clue of as to who they are? Well, I just shut up and sit in the corner and observe. I’ve stated that fact before.
In my youth, I had no issue of going out and greeting folks, traveling and looking for adventure, but here I am, approaching if not in middle age and all I want is comfort, peace and quiet. I want my routine. Unlike the life of a youngster who is always looking towards the horizon I just want to enjoy a slower pace of life. That is unless I’m on my Harley. Then, all bets are off.
Now I know I will take this trip and I know I will have a good time. Okay, I hope I will have a good time. But for right now, I just want to sit at home, prop my feet up, watch mindless television and fall asleep. I don’t want to pack my stuff, I don’t want to leave my life behind even for a few short days. But I will and I am.
I hope to have a good time. I hope my old friends are doing well and that the folks I will meet will enrich my life somehow. Then again, maybe I will just hole up in my room, turn on my computer and stalk the fine friends and family of facebook.
Have a great weekend and wish me luck.