Pain

            We all have it. Some buckle under to it. Some thrive on it. Of course that is just physical pain. There are treatments for that. Little white, yellow and beige pills prescribed by doctors or purchased over the counter are good for temporary relief.

            This is not the pain I’m talking about. The pain I’m referring to is of a more mental and emotional nature. A pain that can only be inflicted upon a person by someone they love. Heartache? Yes. That is one of the types of pain I’m talking about. So is disappointment. Disappointment in one’s self for not seeing the clues to what is going on in the dark recesses of another’s life. Anger. A big cause of pain that leads to regret.

            Theses emotional pains can manifest themselves into physical pains and you can treat that. Sort of. The pill(s) will numb your sore spots, call your stomach, and make you a mellower person. Yet deep down inside you are still hurt, broken and suffering. There is no pill for that. No quick fix. This is the kind of pain that breaks a person, stunts their growth as a human and prevents them from becoming the best they can be.

            True, sometimes we bring this upon ourselves through the decisions we make and sometimes, it is heaped upon us by the people in our life that make decisions that go against all they’ve been taught. How do you fix that? Better yet, how do you protect yourself from that? Well, being a hermit on a mountain would help. But that isn’t an answer now is it? After all, we are social creatures who live, thrive and survive by interacting with others in our community.

            Truth is, I don’t think there is an answer. You can’t steel yourself away from the ones you love and care about in an attempt to protect yourself from them or yourself. You have to roll with ebbs and tides of life and the maelstrom of shit that brews just off the coast of happiness and pleasantness and try and be prepared for whatever it is that comes your way.

            You need to hold close the ones you love regardless of the pain they have caused you. Forgive them for the mistakes they’ve made and move forward in life. You have to have hope that one day all the lessons you’ve tried to impart upon them will sink in and that they will understand what you meant.

            But Skip, you say, life is long and how are we supposed to know when the knowledge is actually codified and understood? Answer; you don’t. You can’t. It takes years for those kind of answers to come to fruition. I know from firsthand experience. I was the knucklehead causing strife, pain and anger growing up. I think I’ve learned from my mistakes and I hope that I’m not making too many of them with my responsibilities today. But I don’t know. I won’t know and I can’t know. Which is another sort of pain. I call it my flux state.

            I do believe that the tender side of human nature holds the answers to these questions. I have to believe they do. Simply because when the storms of life are raging our immediate reactions are to pull someone close and make contact with them. It’s true, at times other emotions get in the way, the anger and disappointment fill our bodies with a strength that is easily tapped into but if you do tap into them, you will only cause more destruction, pain and anger. It’s an evil and vile cycle. But if you reach out with tenderness, love and understanding even if you don’t feel it at the moment, you will soon enough.

            So I guess what I’m saying is, the answer to the non-physical pain we heap upon each other in our daily lives is Love. Plain and simple. Just Love.

            I don’t normally do this but it is needed here; a biblical quote.

            Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

            Have a great week.