I did a thing today,
something that I am unsure about. You see…
For
years people in my life have been calling me smart, intelligent and that I should
seek out a higher education. When I left the Navy oh so many years ago, I tried
to get some sort of education. However, I ran out of money. Quickly. Education
costs money. Money, I do not have even though I am more financially sound today
than when I was over thirty years ago.
However,
after being pushed and prodded by my brother Brian, his wife, my pal Nicole,
Dan, Tim, Sue, Goose and way too many other people in my life I have signed up
and paid for one course at the local community college.
College
Composition 1 is the class I chose, it was the writing course or the math
course. As of this writing, I am more comfortable with the writing aspect and
its influence in my life. After all, for most math these days, there is an app
for solving simple mathematical problems as well as the even more abstract equations.
So, I
looked up what the course entails, primarily what are the expectations of a
student. The information I learned was a bit overwhelming but not in the least
bit off putting. My concern is I will lose interest or just plain get
frustrated out of sheer ignorance and walk away.
After
all, I am fifty-four years old, I am twenty-six years into my career and I am
not used to being on the receiving end of information by others. Normally when
I want more information about something I just pick up a book or find reliable
sources of information on the internet and never just one source.
I am
always trying to learn something that piques my interest. Well, interests to be
truthful.
So
yeah, I am nervous, not excited, not fretful. Just nervous.
“It
is only one class” I keep telling myself. It has become a mantra really.
My
family is happy for me and fully supportive. Even proud of me you could say.
Total support it seems. This also makes me uncomfortable. After all, what if I
fail. They all say I won’t, but… I am just unsure of myself and my ability to
be taught in a professional manner.
Also,
did I mention this is the accelerated eight-week course instead of the normal
sixteen-week course? Yeah, I chose it for a reason, to try and get this behind
me as quickly as possible in case I fail. However, if I don’t fail, if I
actually succeed then I will take the math course. If I succeed at math, then
the next course and the course after that.
I
mean, I do have an ultimate plan with a degree or two as my reward, yet my life
has always been a bit hectic, chaotic and unpredictable. If this occurs, how
will this affect my education? If taking courses becomes a financial burden,
which I know it will, how will I be able to move forward? Will I even have the
resolve to complete one class? One semester of classes over the course of my
life? Hell, even the determination to get one or more degrees?
I do
not know.
I
seem to have wandered willingly into an unknown aspect of my life. I am on new
ground here for myself. I do not like this feeling.
Yes,
I want to learn, but I am unsure of my ability to actually absorb and apply the
knowledge I am being taught.
There
is a saying amongst sailors “Getting stuck in the irons”. I do not expect you, my
dear readers, to understand that metaphor. The gist of it is that you are stuck
in one spot until the wind comes up or you get assistance.
I am
in the irons as of this writing.
I am
going to wrap this up because I feel like I have done nothing but complain
about my truly first world problems.
My
name is Skip and I am a fifty-four-year-old college freshman.
Have a great week.
