Saturday, November 20, 2010

Thanks and Grace


Initially I had another blog to post this week, but, life being the fickle mistress she is, decided I should do something completely different. Enjoy.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the gentleman who slashed my wife’s Jeep tire on Friday night. No, I’m not being sarcastic and I’m going to let you know that it’s no big deal. Not to me at least. It was at first, when my wife called me upset, crying and scarred at 11:15 PM. That’s when I was upset. I was upset because I was in bed asleep and so was my daughter.

But, I got up, got dressed, woke my daughter up and got her dressed. Then, we both went out to my car. The crisp fall weather making its presence known with the fog of every breath we expelled from our bodies. We drove to the parking lot where my wife was stranded in silence. No radio, no real discussion, just the silence of our thoughts to keep us company. Our bleary eyed solace interrupted by the lights of the late night traffic sending rainbow hues of colors through our windshield and making the night shadows inside the car dance across our hands as they clasped each other in worry and concern for the safety of my wife and her mother.

Once we arrived and made sure that everything was ok with the Jeep and the Jeep’s primary driver, I commenced to changing the deflated, sad looking, steel belted radial. Now, let me take a moment and say that I COULD go on and on in a descriptive manner of all the antics, shenanigans and emotions that played out during the next 30 minutes, but I’m not going to do that. Nope, instead, like the good sailor I was taught to be, I’m going to take a different tack.

As I said before, Thank You Mr. Tire Slasher. Your anger and uncontrollable emotions afforded me a chance to teach my daughter a valuable lesson. I took those 30 minutes and showed her how to change a tire, how to go into a problem that someone else caused and categorize the steps that one needs to take to not just solve the problem but also ensure it gets done in a timely manner. I took that opportunity to teach her “Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey.” On lug nuts. I taught her how to use a scissors jack. I taught her the proper way to be more self sufficient and that no matter how bad the problem may seem it can be overcome with logic, knowledge, assistance and I hope, forgiveness. I also took your anger and used it to make myself a hero in not just her 11 year old mind but also my wife’s mind.

Yes, I was tired and a little grumpy but I did not take it out on her or my wife. Instead I granted you forgiveness and grace. Grace. Funny that little word. I truly learned the definition of it a few years ago and I’ve never forgotten it. I hope I never do, either.

Grace [greys] noun, verb

1. Mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace

2. Favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity

3. Theology

a. The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.

b. The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.

c. A virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian Graces.

d. Also called “State of Grace”. The condition of being in God’s favor.

Now, I know there are many more definitions to the word grace but these are the examples I am referring to. And you know what, Mr. Tire Slasher Man? I really don’t think I am talking to you right now. I think that right now, there is someone, somewhere reading this that needs to read it. Needs to understand. Needs to feel forgiven but knows they don’t deserve it. But they desire it anyway. And I hope that person is granted the forgiveness and grace they need.

Look, we’re all on this mud-ball together, and I fully understand the frustration that can come with the daily living, driving and bill paying. I UNDERSTAND. I know how it feels. The overwhelming, almost insurmountable pressure that comes with trying to be a responsible human. And how just one small act or perceived act of selfishness can make a person so angry that they resort to a short and violent act. The act or event that you believe will make you feel better but in the end only makes you feel ashamed of yourself and embarrassed of who you are. Makes you start to doubt that there is a decent person living inside you with the ability to love and care for someone else. Or that YOU deserve to be loved by someone else. Someone decent and caring. You doubt you are worthy of anything. Listen to me. YOU ARE! Really, you are worthy and you do deserve it. But, being callous and acting out like a child who has just had their favorite toy taken away is not the way to get what you want.

Now, I hope that if you ever find yourself in a situation where someone has hurt you or done you wrong that you feel you will be able to resolve the conflict without becoming a screaming maniac and that you will be able to grant someone Grace. It’s amazing the feeling of freedom you get when you do give Grace to someone.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to get all preachy on you, now back to the story.

In the end, I was able to change the tire, hopefully teach a lesson or two to my child and endear myself to my wife. And it only cost me an hour of sleep. I was able to take your violence and not let it ruin my night or my day or my weekend. I was able to forgive you and not let your juvenile antics affect me. I hope you, my dear reader, will also be able to take a negative influence in your life one day and create a positive memory for you and your family.

Have a great week everyone and Happy Thanksgiving.

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