Swiss Cheese.

            A week has passed and I’ve survived it. That in and of itself is a miracle. But what just happened is truly a remarkable experience. Something I’m sure we’ve all went through at one time or another. You see, while being ill for the past two days I’ve simply lost track of time. It happens to all of us in one form or another. But in this case, it is truly at tragedy of comedic performance.

            As stated, I’ve been ill. I’ve had a one hundred and one degree temperature off and on for over twenty-four hours and I’ve been fighting the good fight with all sorts of over the counter medicine. Including the liquid-green-death known as Nyquil. So, in the late afternoon of today, Friday, September 26, 2014 when I went to bed between four and five pm. I figured I’d be free and clear to work on Saturday.

            This was a good plan, that is until I woke up and looked at my alarm clock it read 6:30. I figured I was late and I rushed through the house trying to pack up all my belongings for a days work. Two BC powders down my throat, glass of water, morning meds, daily bills, part time clothes, phone, and various other sundries needed for getting through the day. It wasn’t until I left the house that I realized my family wasn’t there. As I rode to work I marveled at how light it was outside and how little traffic there was.

            Once at work I went through my normal routine. Only stopping to text my wife that I hoped she was okay and that she had had a good night. After all my start up work was finished I checked my phone and I had a message from my betrothed it said “Call Me.” So I did.

            She was at a restaurant with a friend with our daughter, I was at work and she informed me it was Friday night. I denied that fact and insisted it was Saturday morning. She was adamant about the time of day and which day of the week it was, so much so that I had to remove the phone from my ear and check. She was right. I was twelve hours early in my work day. All because I didn’t have the where with all to check my phone when I woke up.

            This is why I like military time. It’s easier for me to understand. Everything is on a twenty-four hour scale and when I look at the time it tells me whether it is am or pm just by the first numbers on the clock.

            Of course all of this could have been avoided if I’d been a bit more diligent in my morning routine, but tell me, when you wake up, are you as diligent as you are before you go to bed? I’m sure each and every one of us have woken up late in the evening from a nap or early on a weekend morning and felt we were late for something just because of the anticipation we put upon ourselves.

            Thankfully, with my swiss cheese brain and down to earth mate I’m covered for now. But what happens when I don’t have that lightning rod of a mate around? Will I be the guy walking around haphazardly looking for things that aren’t there? Will I be directionless? Hell, will I even remember to put my pants on before stepping out onto my porch for all the world to see? Am I to become the crazy asshole on the block where kids and neighbors cross the street just to avoid going near the place where the long haired, wild eyed, freak lives?

            I guess so. After all, I am nothing but a product of my own imagination and environment.  When the day comes where I have no checks and balances, I’m sure I’ll be in the care of some sort of professional service with people who are trained to deal with the likes of me. If they can’t, well, then they weren’t so prepared were they.

Have a great week.