When I
was about five years old in the early 1970’s, my Mother, Father and my sisters
all took a trip to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to visit my father’s family. I can’t
recall if it was some sort of reunion or not, I do know that my aunts and uncles
also stopped by my grandmother’s house. It was summertime, all of us kids were
out of school and I have to believe it was a weekend and us kids were either
busy playing on the pool table in the basement or running around the neighborhood
playing the games kids play. Hide and seek, kick the can, red rover and tag
were the order of business for our over energetic fueled systems. My uncle, at
least I believe it was my uncle, had a motorcycle. I can’t say for sure it was
a Harley because looking back through the fog of my age, I want to say it was a
Triumph or a Honda, the only reason I say that is because I distinctly remember
the bike having what is known now as European styling. He was generous enough
to give any of the kids rides on it. Even me.
I
remember the ride, it was just down the sidewalk for about a block, I sat in
front of him, cradled in between his arms as he navigated us past houses with
folks screaming at him to get off the sidewalk. That was all it took. I was
bitten by the two wheel bug and infected with gasoline fumed haziness. By the
time I was eight, I was riding my buddies go karts and mini-bikes around the
neighborhood. In my teens I made sure to make friends with anyone I found out
had a dirt bike and rode them as much as possible. I have even written a bit
about those early dirt bike rides on this blog. When I joined the Navy I met a
fellow sailor, a shipmate really, who owned several bikes. He taught me how to
ride on the street and handle myself on the large steel beasts that dominated
the asphalt maze of Hampton Roads. I don’t ever think I got to thank him for
that.
When I
got out of the Navy, I got married and went to work, no time for a motorcycle
when you’re starting a new life and your personal needs grow exponentially by
promising to do everything you can to take care of another person. My dreams of
buying a motorcycle got shelved as the responsibility of marriage and family
come crushing down on you like an avalanche. I stood as tall as I could and
went on with making sure I did everything I could to take care of the woman in
my life. Soon, our duo became a trio and more and more my dream seemed to be
slipping from my grasp. Every now and then though, I would see or hear the
glorious, unmistakable sound of America’s best iron. I watched the men and
occasionally women, ride down the paved paths of our lives in jealousy. The
jealousy was of the freedom and liberation of the mundane life that seemed to
be an ever oppressing presence in my life.
Don’t
get me wrong, I was and am grateful for my family. I have never once said to
myself or anyone else that they were the reason for me not fulfilling a
childhood dream. I knew what was important and I did not forget it. I never
will. I will always try my best to do what is necessary to take care of my own.
I’ve never owned a new car and I doubt I ever will. I’ve never liked driving; I
don’t think I ever will. Anyone who knows me knows this. I don’t like driving
so much that I try to rarely do it and I’ve even made up excuses as to why I can’t
drive. But riding… that is another story.
You see
my dear reader, riding on two wheels without walls and a roof around you to
protect you from the elements seems to me at least, to be a bit like being prom
king and having your sister as your prom queen. Sure it’s a nice accolade but
you know it will just be a hollow memory as you put your youth behind you. On a
bike, you are more engaged with your surroundings and more aware of the asphalt
only inches beneath your feet. Yes, I know, people have a definite prejudice
against the two wheel riders. I can’t blame them, I’ve seen all sorts of idiots
on motorcycles doing all sorts of crazy things, and I hope to God I will never
be one of those.
Today
however, today… where to start… I guess I have to start with the unmistakable
need that has been growing inside of me for the past year. A need that said “Skip,
if you don’t act now, it will be too late.” So I acted, I researched bikes and
watched bikes, and read about bikes. I even went so far as to write a short
story about motorcycle riding. I knew my time was running short for me to make
my dream a reality. So I acted. I went online to both the Triumph website and
the Harley Davidson website and tried to find a bike I could call my own. A
bike I would purchase and be happy with. Weeks went by and I kept flip-flopping
between the either the T-100 Bonneville or the HD 1200 Custom. I didn’t know which
one would fit me or make the eight year old living inside me jump up for joy.
Then,
one fateful evening over a month ago, my wife, my daughter and I went to the
local Harley dealership, Bayside Harley Davidson, here in the town I adopted so
many years ago. I was quite familiar with this dealer because over the past eight
years I would take my daughter there to look at all the shiny metal and chrome
that seemed to cast its unmistakable magic over not just me but my offspring as
well. As a family we walked around the showroom and my inner child tried hard
to break free and climb on the wares displayed before us. He was unsuccessful.
But I, as an adult, was smitten even more. My wife knew what these machines
mean to me and she pushed me ever so gently to take the next step and talk to a
salesman.
Within
the short span of two hours I had not just laid down a down payment on a bike
but I had custom ordered it. As my wife drove us home I was in a state of
disbelief. I kept asking myself if I had just done something I had always
wanted to do. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and went about my daily
routines as I normally do. But every now and again the reality of what was
coming became overbearing for me. So overbearing that for the past five days I
couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, my chest felt tight and my stomach felt like I
had swallowed water balloons with very active goldfish inside them.
My nervousness
did not go unnoticed by my co-workers and I eventually succumbed to their
questions about what was wrong and I told them I had purchased a bike. Some
were surprised, most weren’t. Those who’ve known me for a long time know my
affliction with motorcycles. A few nay-sayers claimed I would kill myself or
become a part of the “DONOR-CYCLE” gang. I ignored them. I had to. But over the
days that passed some of their comments sunk in and I wondered if I were making
a mistake. Should I call the dealership and cancel my order? Should I just
purchase a gently used car and drive it two miles a day and be miserable for
the next forty-six years of my life? Should I just tell myself that as I
approach middle age that I am far too responsible for one of a handful of
dreams that have plagued me my entire life and on my death bed look back and
regret the things I didn’t do?
The
resounding answer was “NO!” But, what about my doubts, my inexperience over the
past years of not riding? Sure, I had my class “M” license, I’ve never let that
expire and even if I never bought a bike I never would let it expire. That
little “M” next to my name on my license was a constant reminder to me of
something I’d always wanted. And, I can’t tell you how many times over the
years I’ve looked at my license and wondered why I kept it there. I know I
looked at it weekly at least.
So
today I went to the bank, got a cashier’s check and went and got myself my
dream machine. After all the pomp and circumstance that seems to be custom when
a person purchases Milwaukee’s best machine, I spent a half an hour getting
acquainted with my machine. I practiced starting and stopping, tight curves and
I only managed to stall it out once. Yes, I was rusty but those cobwebs soon
fell to the concrete and asphalt as I lost track of time and mileage in the
oversized parking lot. The oneness I felt with my surroundings as a child
riding the dirt paths of Wisconsin soon came flooding back to me. The sound of
the engine filled my ears, the wind tickled my face and the feel of the world
seem to overtake me. I couldn’t help but feel good. Sure, it was cold out, sure
I could be completely insane and yes, this is not something I really needed… I
could have purchased a used bike, I could have purchased a car, I could have
continued to ride my bicycle and be just as responsible. But deep inside me my
past seemed to come into synch with my present and my future. I felt almost
perfect.
My
daughter, God bless her, stood watching beside her mother in the grass next to
a picnic table. She was wearing her helmet and gloves waiting for me to come
and give her a ride. My wife stood there with her hoody pulled over her head
watching with what I can only assume was a look of pride on her face. I pulled
up next to them and my daughter climbed on and we practiced maneuvering as a
team on my black beauty. Soon we were leaving the parking lot, her grip tight
on my hips and her head resting comfortably between my shoulder blades. A mile
down the road we arrived at her grandparents’ house and they came out and
looked at the machine with pride and a touch of jealousy. Fifteen minutes later
I was back on the road, by myself this time.
I
needed time to communicate with my new family member, learn her moves, and feel
how she responded to my commands. It was a bit rough but eventually smoothed
out a bit as I learned her particular needs. I rode around town, took her
through old neighborhoods and even up onto the interstate for a few miles. The
biting cold of the wind made me shiver but those shivers went unnoticed. I was
enthralled with my mode of transportation. When I got home there was an open
spot in the driveway and I parked her there. And as I write this, I’m sitting
on my front porch looking at the chrome gleam in the incandescent light of my
porch light. I’m smiling.
I still
can’t say if what I’ve done is a mistake or if it is one of the most right
things I’ve ever done in my life. I can say I feel almost as happy now as I did
when I first held my daughter in my arms almost fourteen years ago. These to feelings
are ones I know when I’m old and feeble, lying in a hospital bed with a mind
filled with Swiss cheese holes the size of the Appalachian Mountains I will
never forget.
Have a
great week.