Careful What You Wish For

                The week isn’t even over and I have experienced so many emotions that I don’t even know where to begin. My highs have been epic and my lows have been devastating, and the brief intermissions of mediocrity were almost unnoticed as I passed them going up and down at speeds that would make the Millennium Falcon’s Kessel run seem as slow as a snail crawling through salt. And, now as I sit here on my front porch trying to digest the first five days of the week, I seem to be at a loss of words and yet I know I need to write.

So, before I get on with the blog, let’s have a musical interlude by the mighty Eminem;

“Careful what you wish for”

                So this is it...
This is what I wished for
Just isn't how I envisioned it
Feigned to the point of imprisonment
I just thought the shit'd be different
But something changed
The minute that I got a whiff of it
I started to inhale it
Smell it
Started sniffin' it
And it became my cocaine
I just couldn't quit
I just wanted a little bit
Then it turned me (in)to a monster
I became a hypocrite
Concert after concert

I was raking in the dough
Rolling in green
Had the game hemmed up
Like a sewing machine
But I was losing my freedom
There was no where for me
To not go and be seen
And just go and be me
And there was no in-between
You either loved it or hate it

Every CD, critics gave it a 3, then 3
Years later, they'd go back and re-rate it
And call the Slim Shady LP the greatest
The Marshall Mathers was a classic
The Eminem Show was fantastic
But Encore just didn't have the caliber to match it
I guess enough time just ain't passed, yet
A couple more years, that shit'll be ill-matic
And eight years later, I'm still at it
Divorce, re-married
A felon
A father
Sleeping pill addict
And this is real talk
I feel like the Incredible Hulk
My back has been broke, and I can still walk

[Chorus]

So be careful what you wish for
'Cause you just might get it
And if you get it then you just might not know
What to do wit' it, 'cause it might just
Come back on you ten-fold

I said

Be careful what you wish for
'Cause you just might get it
And if you get it then you just might not know
What to do wit' it, 'cause it might just
Come back on you ten-fold

[Verse 2]

I got a letter from a fan, that said
He's been praying for me
Every day and for some reason
It's been weighing on my mind heavy
'Cause I don't read every
Letter I get, but something told me to go ahead and open it, but
Why would someone pray for you when they don't know you?
You didn't pray for me when I was local
And as I lay these vocals
I think of all the shit I had to go through
Just to get to where I'm at
I've already told you at least

A thousand times in these rhymes
I appreciate the prayer, but I already got
God on my side
And it's been one hell of a ride, hasn't it?
Just watchin' it from an opposite standpoint
Man, boy's got to look
Nuts
And that's the only word I can think of right now
On how
To describe the shit
This is like a vibe you get
Go ahead and bob to it
Just watch what you wish for, 'cause I got the shit

[Chorus]

So be careful what you wish for
'Cause you just might get it
And if you get it then you just might not know
What to do wit' it, 'cause it might just
Come back on you ten-fold

I said

Be careful what you wish for
'Cause you just might get it
And if you get it then you just might not know
What to do wit' it, 'cause it might just
Come back on you ten-fold

                Now, I’m not a musician and I never will be but there are parts of this song that speak deep into my soul. I am on the cusp of achieving a personal goal, nay a dream, which I’ve had for, well, all my life. A goal I’ve come so close to on two separate occasions but failed to follow through. The reasons for the lack of follow through were always beyond my control. This time, I put safeties in place so those reasons won’t reach into my life and stop me.

                I won’t go into the details right now but I will soon. There are a few strings left untied that require my attention but I just want you to know that one of my “Bucket List” items is about to be crossed off my extensive list. I wait with eager anticipation to draw a red line through this item. It has taken me thirty-eight years to get this close and I don’t want to jinx it by speaking of it too much. 

                Just know this my dear reader, my emotions are a bit frayed and the volcanic joy inside of me is almost too much to contain. I am putting my trust in the fates, God, and all the dead gods that they will smile down upon me and recognize I have tried to do my best to get to this point. Those smiles, those good thoughts and feelings can turn to magic and that magic is an unstoppable force for good.

                Right now, I need that magic.

                Wish me luck.

                Have a great week.