Tuesday, October 26, 2010


If you have read yesterday's blog then you should understand that this is the first part of that blog. Both of these, I suppose essay's, were born during that dinner. I wasn't going to post this because it is extremely personal but I feel it needs to be said. I hope you like it and if you get something out of it, all the more better. Thanks for reading.

It’s no secret that the Church that I attend and am a member of has suffered some great losses over the past two years. I could easily blame the state of Pennsylvania but that wouldn’t be fair to the great people who live in that fine state. Why? Is that your question? Do you really want to know? Why would I or could I blame the Keystone state when they have offered us some of the great inventions, statesmen and geniuses in American history… Simple, whenever I go to that state something happens that lets out a deep, dark, repressed secret that others in my church hold against God, our leaders or whatever Pastor or Preacher that is sitting in the role of teacher at the very moment when the storm of lies, hate, arrogance, ego, and pride hits them like a 1994 Mike Tyson punch to the face.




This really started off wrong, I wanted to start off with a nice quaint tale of a double date I had this past week. But something was said during that brief respite of life’s stress and worries. A comment made in passing as a matter of fact just to emphasize a point in the conversation, a comment that has been on my mind since I heard the words, something that I suspected but never voiced and it’s something that I have worried about and I know that others have made comments about. Now, it’s no secret that in my church our old Pastor fell from grace, hard. I’m telling ya,it was like watching King Kong fall off of the Empire State Building, it was horrific to watch even from the sidelines of standing on the camera box that I’ve been assigned. And his fall affected more people than I will ever know. And, just the few dozen stories that I’ve heard and witnessed firsthand make me nauseas just thinking of them. The variety of tales from people of all walks of life, the wealthy woman who comes from an affluent family who is so hurt by the lies and deceit of one person that she now refuses to ever step foot in any church for the rest of her life. The young, inner city youth who would wake up at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning just so he could get a ride to church in the church van so he could play in the band who now has put his instrument up for sale on Craigslist because he can’t stand the thought of using his music to make people happy anymore just so another person can profit from the talent that God gave him. The ordained Pastor who sits alone at night now, crying and praying for the strength to forgive the betrayal against him, his God and his family. Always trying to do the right thing, be the penitent man and forgiving man that walks through the extremely thin pages of his tear stained Bible. The man who felt so distraught that it’s speculated that maybe the betrayal by his old friend, confidant and Pastor was too much for him to handle so he decided he couldn’t take living one more day. The proud waiter who has to field questions of the lies and betrayal to the church and it’s congregation to unknown customers who claim they know more about what’s going on without ever having stepped foot into the church they’ve now decided is a cult.

Come to think of it…

There does seem to be some truth to that, not what it is now but what it was then and what has been born of the ashes of the fallen leader. The rebirth, the birth, the Geneses and Exodus of the old leading to the new cult of personality.

People who only come to listen to the man on the alter and not what he’s saying, not what he’s teaching, not what he’s hiding. They only know that they want to be near him. His personality, his charisma, to be recognized and picked out by name while he stands on his alter that has been twisted, wrecked, torn and bastardized to not reflect the Word and its teaching but is only there to elevate him in the eyes of his parishioners so that his ego, his pride and his arrogance is fed and satiated for just a few moments but it never lasts, because those demons can never be fed enough even when there is nothing left they still hunger for more. These are the demons that will not just topple one man but all that follow him, believe in the man and put your faith in him and you will be devoured by those same demons.

No one person, in my opinion, is infallible, has all the answers, nor can any man be my Savior, my Salvation or my Lord. It upsets me when I see that people refuse to understand that. That some people would rather just point out all the bad, all the hate, the deceit and lies of Man and refuse to listen to the Truth, the love, the honesty and the joy of the forgiveness, grace and understanding of the teachings that come from the one place that seems incorruptible. Man sins, it’s a fact. Man makes mistakes, it’s a fact. Man is a victim of his own desires, it’s a fact. But… Man can forgive and be forgiven, man can hate and be hated, man can love and be loved, man can be sad or saddened, man can hurt and be hurt, man can heal or be healed, man can do what is right or he can do what is wrong. Man can follow the truth or he can follow the lies.

So, here is the truth, as I see it;

The man who helped build my church and then tore it down due to his arrogance, ego, and pride is gone. We are rebuilding. We are holding things together with duct tape, zip ties and faith. We are the hard-core trying to rise above what has happened by always being available and open to whatever may come down the pike. We are using all of our energy and resources to make a better place not for us but for our children. We are trying to set an example and not be an example. We are fighting the odds the naysayers and hate-mongers that refuse to remove the blinders from their eyes and see that “YES! we have been hurt, but we aren’t letting that get the best of us. We will persevere. We will rebuild and we will be here next week, next month, next year, next decade…

We are…

No comments:

Post a Comment