Almost twenty years ago Astrophysicists discovered something called “Vagabond Planets”. These are planets that have been flung out into space that don’t really orbit a star or other large body in the galaxy. They are just sitting there in space all alone, no other mass around it. No one living on it. No real orbit to speak of. It’s just floating all alone in space. This is a pretty cool phenomenon to me. Just being alone. Nothing to bother you. No one pulling you one way or another. You just sit there, existing.
When I heard about these galactic hermits I immediately liked them. Given, I knew nothing about them and the scientists that discovered them don’t know much about them either. They just know they exist. Which is cool. They are like a giant mystery that we can’t really solve. Sure, we can beam all sorts of rays at them and see what they may be made of but they can never really know what they are or how they got there. Sure, they can speculate but to know exactly what caused them to be flung out of their past orbit into the great void to live its life alone and floating through time on its own course is a bit of an enigma.
Maybe I like them because they are alone, they have nothing but themselves for company and they are dependent upon nothing for their existence. They are just there. Which is cool to me.
You see, I am by nature, a person who likes to be alone. I like solitude and being alone with the maniac that lives inside of my mind. I enjoy sorting through my thoughts and figuring out who I am. Why I said what I said in certain situation. Why I acted the way I did in front of people. Not all of these thoughts are pleasant, not all of my answers are positive. No, instead, I spend a good portion of my time beating myself up for past mistakes and trying to figure out how to not make those mistakes in the future.
Of course, I’m not alone I have a wife, I have a daughter, a family so to speak. I have brothers, sisters, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles. My life is filled with people who tug and pull on my life in many different ways. Just as you do. Just as our planets tug and pull on each other. But you know, the most demands in my life come from my daughter.
Children will tug and pull on your life like no other force in creation. In my case, it has been an honor and pleasure. Tomorrow my child turns seventeen. Since her inception she has been a constant source of joy and wonderment in my life. Through all of her ups and downs. Her daily and weekly passions that fade as quickly as they arise, through her crushes, loves and heartbreaks and through her continuous daily life, she has struggled, succeeded and grown in ways that amaze me.
She is far more mature and ready for life than I was at her age. Probably more mature than I am at this age. She has a focus that would put a trained sniper to shame and a vision for her future that most people never have and never will.
Her attitude when faced with obstacles and adversarial conflict is one of determination and pragmatism. Through all of her experiences she keeps a good attitude, wit and sarcasm that speak to her upbringing and how she sees the world.
Her self-reliance and dignity are two traits that I know will help her make the right decisions in pretty much every situation she will be faced with. Not to mention, at her age, that of a teenager who should be rebelling against her parents, her teachers and the status quo of the world is pretty much non-existent. I’ve no idea how she became so well rounded, so accepting of others or even how she became so passionate about equality and justice for everyone.
I believe that she is the one force in my life that has had more impact on my life than any other force. From the second I found out I was going to be a father, to those fleeting moments when I held her on the day she came into the world to those wonderful hugs I get from her every day, I have been pulled into the solar system of her life simply by being her father. I am honored to be her dad and even more honored to be recognized as her father by others.
My dream of being a vagabond planet, a hermit so to speak will never come to fruition, simply because the strongest force in my life is my own child. I love you Goose and I hope you have an awesome birthday.
Have a great week.