Friday, March 27, 2015

Introspective End of Week.

            It has been one hell of a week here in the heart of the South. My mood seem to rise and fall with the ever present and bipolar Mother Nature. One moment sunny and warm, the next, icy with bitter winds and my mood plummeting as quickly as the mercury. For a few moments, and by few I mean maybe three or four, I was not as worried as I normally am.
            Sure, I’ve been putting on a good smile and downright cheerful disposition while at work, but those who know me, I mean really know me, know there has been something off about the way I am when there are no strangers or untrustworthy types lurking in the shadows. Yeah, to say my days are not just an emotional but also a stress roller coaster ride the likes which have not been built is but a shallow example of the truth.
            I’ve spoken of this before, how could I not? It seems all I do these days is feel the overwhelming pressure of middle-aged life and the duties of raising a kid and being a good husband. Not easy. If you think it is, I’ll trade ya. (especially if you’re a bajillionaire) And the trade will most likely be temporary. Just long enough for me to empty out your bank accounts, steal my family from you and run off to a secluded island where they’ve never heard of large box stores.
            I digress.
            Yeah, it’s been rough. I, no, we survived. The weather, the stress, the insanity of life. And we did it with very little grace and dignity. Yet we managed to pull together and survive for one more week. Just like you. And you. And yes, you, there in the back room with no lights on and eating your way through a box of Swiss Miss rolls. We all survived. A little more dented, a little more tarnished by lifes pummeling, but we fucking survived.
            Sure, I had some help. I texted a person I try to not text because I know how crazy his time management is and I know the demands on his life are at least as much as mine. Words of encouragement were exchanged and I actually laughed when I was feeling like quitting. I hope you have someone in your life like that because it wasn’t until recently I realized how important it is to have someone to help pick you up and dust you off when you’ve been sucker punched by the world.
            Just talking to my pal brought forth good conversations filled with memorable quotes. Life quotes really. Some would call the platitudes but to me, right at this time in my life, I need them. I really need them. I’m grateful for our friendship, hell any friendship for that matter. Our bond with others seems to help lessen the pain we get force fed every day. It acts like a morphine shot to the soul and psyche. A shot that seems to give us the strength to stand up, brush the dust and grime of life off our soiled clothes and move our still aching body forward. Forward with the help of a friend or two.
            I can’t say I won’t lose my mind in the near and dear future. I will. I know I will, because the unseen blackness of life is hiding just around the corner. Or on the other end of an incoming phone call. Or, maybe pressing send on an email that when you read it will make you wish you’d chosen a different path to your life. Thankfully, right now, I don’t feel that way right now.
            Nope, I’ve got a few secret weapons on my side. Soldiers in the fight for life so to speak. Soldiers I can lean on. After all, we are all brothers in arms just trying to get as far as we can before the energy that keeps us going is transferred to another plane of existence. Hopefully one filled with golden roads and mansions. I think I could actually rest there. Peace, tranquility and none of the insanity we have created on this spaceship we call earth.

            Have a great week. Be good to each other.

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